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Thousands of why... Depression... =|
Just feel like updating my post suddenly. What a day in school today. I just don't like today.
I know that i'm emotional, i know that i'm a sentimental person. So? What can i do about it then? I hate it man! E feeling i mentioned in e last post, it's so "strong" inside me, inside my heart. It's so uncomfortable, so irritating. I can't take it anymore, got 'emotional breakdown' just now in sch, then i just walked off from e lab area. Maybe i'm too stress? Hoping it's not about friendship. I wanna hide it, but failed. But anyway, thanks alot. All of you are still e best,among all my new friends! Really thanks alot!
I've a mixed feeling now. So confused and in a delimma.
I've tried to go neutral everytimes in everything. But..but..but why will there always be cliques around? It's so sad to be separated. I don't know why i feel it that way, maybe 'cos i'm those type of emotional person, i think.
There's only a question in my brain, why. Why bad things happen? Oh my god!
Why must there be criticism? Why must we accept e facts when we doesn't really want to accept it? Thousands and thousands of why...
I need to accept e fact that it's sad to part and be separated with our friends. But that's just part and parcel of life. We must not look back but to continue to move on. That's why memories exist, and it's sometimes kept close to our heart. This's what a friend once told me. Thanks for it, and i'll remember what you've said for life!
Alright, i gotta stop here then. So cya ya and thanks for visitors who have spend their times reading my "craps". Haha.. Take care! =D
~Sign off~
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Didnt touch a single thing in my blog for weeks, almost months i guess! So sorry about it. I came into e page, everything is so...dead. Having "maggots" crawling around the page already. Haha.. Alright, lets stop e crap. =)
Now, totally different from last time. I got to get use to it. If not, it's hard to survive for three years. Chatted with C.yun, we felt e "weird" feeling after we came to poly. I think it's e cause of e new environment, new friends, new way of life, new education. Almost everything has changed! I really miss e days in sec.
Alright, e 3 days of orientation had over. It's fun, knowing new friends through these 3 days. Having games, same games over n over again for e 3 days! Boring durhz! But it might help in e bonding btw every of us as a class.
The 1st week of school has past, quite fast eh. Learning new things, new knowlegde, eating new foods in different canteen with my NEW friends!
Have 8 modules to take care of if im not wrong. Haha.. E most interesting module is computing maths, i think. As compared to e rest... Haa..
I feel that what i told C.soon that day was absolutely correct. Poly..our class.. Abit "no life"... E lifestyles we have experienced in sec is different to poly. It changed tremendously.
E saddest thing i've encountered since e starting of sch, e feeling of "numbness" is backed! Haishz.. I hate it! It's like, your feeling is being 'tortured' till it disappeared, vanished into e thin air. No more feeling of excitement, happiness, joy, when saw e "old ones", especially e ones we grew up with, in e same 'c-c-a'.
What has happen to me!? I doubt it not only happen to me as well. I doubt.
I don't have e feeling of returning back on that day, e enthusiasm in me.. has gone.
Should i or should i not, to give it up? In a dilemma now.
Or just wait for it to 'fall'? E place where we used to have fun together and even suffered together, e hard times made us all bonded together. But what happen now? E feeling of 'numbness', a stranger most probably. Or a Hi-Bye friends only?
Alright, think of it make me feel worst. Dropped e topic is e best choice to do. *Deciding now whether wanna "on" it or "off" it.* 2 more days to decide.
Yea, it's a raining season these days. Just seem like it will continue to rain for days, or even reaching weeks. Haha.. Sorry for my exageration. Kekeez..=P
I met some friends in my new poly life. Such as JunJie, Shawn, ChyeSoon, HanSheng, etc. They are nice! Everytimes have full of funny 'craps' to talk about. Haha..
I think i should know them more, and not forgetting Desmond and guys at e same time! Haha...
Modules,tutorials,modules,tutorials.. E same routine for 17 weeks! We were chatting away instead of doing e homework during e breaktime today. Almost all of us started to feel e 'stress' now already, somemore it is only on e 2nd week! Oh my god! I can't imagine what will happen few weeks later especially e days near our Examination weeks! Lolz..
Okay, i think i'll stop writing here. So take care and bye!
~sign off~ =D